It’s the eve before the 30th June 2015 … let’s call it forevermore “SAMs Eve”. If I’m honest I’m worrying that I’m going to get visits from (ok so it’s a poor frame of reference but you gotta give me points for trying!!):  

  • The ghost of “GCSE’s past” who’ll take me to scenes from my childhood where I’ll watch as I sit the first ever GCSEs back in to 1988. Accordingly I’ll be reminded of a time when GCSEs were kinder and more innocent than they are about to become. Newspaper headlines will spin in front of my eyes splashing the words; Shanghai, PISA, TIMMS, Singapore, Gove, Morgan, Too Easy, You’re rubbish, Shanghai, Vietnam and I’ll end up screaming. Fingers crossed, maybe I’ll get to see what my life would have been like had I not come into teaching and you never know I might like how it looks.
  • The second spirit, the ghost of “GCSE’s present” will take me to several different scenes. There’ll be teams from the exam boards all knackered and battered from the “to-ing and fro-ing” – I suspect that there has been lots of this going on with Ofqual wanting clarification on “just one more thing” (a bit like Columbo!). I envision the teams slouched in chairs, necking bottles of cheap sherry as they toast the finishing post. I almost feel sorry for them in all of this. There will be some poor marketing person (actually lots of them!) working late this evening, checking the final copy and timing the emails to go out once the boards have been informed that the embargo has been lifted. Then there are the teachers who will be continually pressing refresh on their computers as if that makes a difference … the fact is, we now have less than 3 weeks for most of us to peruse the SAMs. Poor years 9’s are oblivious to the whole thing and I will get to watch some of them opening their report and hear their parents say but “what does a 4 mean? … is that good?” We will see some self-congratulatory “high- fiving” going on as people leave the offices of Ofqual and Westminster convinced that tomorrow will have been a productive day and we’re moving one step closer to the goal.
  • The third spirit, the “Ghost of GCSEs Yet to Come” will see me sat at my desk in one years’ time looking at the gaps we still need to fill with our “then” year 10’s. OK, so I won’t be looking at the open grave of that “wretched woman” (well I hope not!” where people will only attend the funeral if lunch is provided (If this does happen tonight I know it’s definitely wrong because I’ve made my husband promise there will be champagne on arrival and throughout the entire proceedings… obviously I won’t be drinking – the fizz is for the congregation!!). I’ll be moved to plead to be shown someone who feels any emotion over the loss of the “GCSE as we know it” and I’ll be shown only the publishers and consultants rubbing their hands as the ££££’s flood in as people look elsewhere for expertise. I scream at this image “look in the mirror!!”.

I have run out of inspiration – we are on an unstoppable train. In my opinion, the journey has been a nightmare, with delays, incompetence and to be honest was badly planned. Last week getting told the information about the grace period for a 4/5 should have been set out up front (I don’t think I should have said anything HERE’S THE POST AGAIN … OOPS!!.. hope the minister’s office isn’t too peeved at me!!) …. I just fear that someone knee-jerked and made this decision …

… anyway, the station where I’m getting off is in sight … tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.

PS: Don’t worry I’m not going to stop blogging. In fact I have some corkers planned.

scrooge