If not now, then when?  ….

I’ve been a bit vague about my trip up North a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been ill this weekend – hence the “radio silence” … flipping flu!!. I didn’t mean to veil the whole thing in an air of mystery but a few weeks ago I got asked if I’d consider joining the Teaching Committee of The Mathematical Association.

I was sceptical … you wouldn’t expect anything less would you? BUT, and that should be massive “but” I have a philosophy about life – in fact I have lots of philosophies – most of them are nonsense but definitely worth discussing at 3am after a few bottles of wine! Where was I? Oh yes … I have a philosophy about life: I believe that you have to grasp every opportunity that comes your way. I don’t want to get to 70 and think “I should have done X, Y or Z” … it’s that flipping thinking that got me into teaching and changing from the corporate world. So it’s worked for me so far … Right? It has, hasn’t it? Say it is so!!

I agreed to go to the meeting in York, to get “a feel” for the format and what it would involve. Everyone there was lovely (**waves**) and Rachel Horsman was extremely honest about wanting to make a difference to how the work of the MA is perceived by teachers at the coal-face. I absolutely agree with this: personally I never thought it was for “teachers like me” (not that you could cope with too many people like me!). Seriously I always perceived it as being very academic and never thought I was “mathsey” enough or that I didn’t love the “actual” maths I teach enough. Don’t get me wrong, I adore teaching but it’s exactly that! I thought I loved teaching more than I loved the maths – I thought I would be equally content teaching crochet (ok, possibly not but you get the idea!). As it turns out, I actually quite like the maths too. Sometimes I just need reminding of the fact!

I came to my decision and I’ll be brutally honest and open about my thought process because for a couple of days I had to do some real soul searching (yes! I have one!) … Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but I’ve had to think long and hard about the implications to me and my blog:

There are loads of “pros” but in short I get to be involved in something “bigger”  BUT I genuinely believe that if we are all like-minded people, and consensus can be reached “we” are stronger together. Additionally its the MA for flips-sake … the history behind it is phenomenal.

When it came to the “cons” I can truly say that the time commitment isn’t something that bothers me … work isn’t something I’m afraid of. Fitting it around work and other stuff isn’t an issue and as my hubbie said “Mel, if it’s something YOU want to do and YOU think it’s worth doing YOU WILL find the time” and once again he is bang on the money!

However, my other reservations are purely personal and I’m at peace with them. At first I was dubious about whether it felt a little like “selling my soul”, I was concerned about how honest I could really be about what is going on at the coal-face or even worse what impact it would have on my blogging! Let me explain: As it stands the only person I have to be honest with is myself – I’m not accountable to anyone other than myself with what I say on my blog and I am NEVER going to change that – these views are entirely my own and I needed to be sure that I was ready and able to represent other peoples point of view (even if it differs from my own) anyone else’s point of view. Obviously I’d like to think that my views are pretty representative but I’m also mature enough to accept that everyone’s perception is their own reality.

There was also a load of personal “ethics” that I’ve had to come to terms with too – some of the subject associations are a bit “secret squirrel” about wanting stuff out in the public domain and up until now I’ve learnt of its existence and got copies through Freedom of Information requests despite not being involved in the MA. Going forward morally I know that I can’t (won’t!! in the same way that I will never disclose my sources!!) use anything I know isn’t in the public domain until it is “out there” and I know that as long as I get wind of the stuff through an additional source then nothing changes. I can sleep at night knowing that I’m not abusing what I read/see or hear!

In a similar vein now that (fingers, toes, legs and arms crossed!) we will get new “new” SAMs tomorrow … I have some subject association letters that after tomorrow are to some extent “relics of the past” and superceded by the new SAMs but I will publish a post in the next couple of days. I am hoping that this time Ofqual have got it right … hmmm

Anyway … back to the MA (flipping blogging tourettes!) .. there was/is a little part of me that is still a bit “why me?” but then again “if not me, then who?” and yes I do know I’m not that special! (believe me I know!!) … I’ve said yes … and so it starts … at which point I bid you adieu as I hit the motorway and head north once again, to Durham this time… I’ll wave!