It’s not as drastic as the title suggests … in fact for many it’s not even something that warrants a blog post but for me it’s a biggie.

But first a little tangent explaining my relative absence to the world of blogging. I started writing this blog nearly eleven years ago as a way to document my journey as a teacher. I wrote as if no one was reading and in the early days no one did. I found it very therapeutic and over time I came to learn that many of you valued what I was writing and what I shared. It’s comforting to know that others are in the same boat and that’s how teaching felt … it felt very supportive. However recently, the edu-landscape that I was experiencing changed and people started to get very judgemental, with many people insisting that “their” way was the only way (take formula triangles for example … it’s all about context … a high attaining set I wouldn’t … but lower attaining sets ??) … whereas I’d like to think that most of the time anything I’ve shared or said has been accompanied with a health warning about context being king … and this judgey thing hasn’t been something I’ve had the headspace to deal with for probably twelve months or more.

My first and foremost priority has and always will be my students. The kids in front of me, who have doors opened for them because they get the grades needed for the next chapter of their lives. Don’t get me wrong I love maths. I love teaching maths and want the next generation to go on and become better mathematicians than me … I want to pass on this legacy and say “go on … take this … take this thing called “maths” and be better at it than me … go on and do amazing things with it” but I’m also a realist … for some students those amazing things will be maths related but for most of them it means being able to go on to the next stage of education.

The maths purists out there will hate that previous paragraph and that’s fine … over the years I have developed a very large “fuck1t bucket!” (a phrase from a colleague who would probably be mortified if I mentioned I’d learnt it from her .. hehehe) which means that whilst I am aware of not wanting to upset anyone, I’m not afraid to voice an opinion even if that goes against the current trends. It’s not that I’m being rude (I promise you that’s the last thing I want to be seen as) by being contrary and maybe I just haven’t developed the “correct” social norms and “correct” responses to things but I do find myself in situations where I can almost feel the “oh my god … she just said X” thoughts whizzing around people’s heads, and the sharp intakes of breath are palpable more often than I’d like.

I often make the analogy that running a maths department is like being on a three lane motorway, with years 7 & 8 being the slow lane, 9 & 10 the middle lane and year 11 the fast lane. I’m not saying it’s the right way to run a department either, I’m just saying that’s the reality for lots of departments. The issue with this is that if all our energy and resources go into year 11 it is unsustainable and ultimately we will lose people from the profession. What we need to do is get years 7 & 8 right (better?) so that less intervention is required in later years. Well this analogy also works well for my life … work has been the fast lane. It always has been and probably will never change and until recently has never been an issue whilst life outside work coasted alongside in the slow and middle lanes … that is until we moved house nine months to a 200 year old cottage that hadn’t been lived in for 3 years and life got busy. I mean busy.

Knowing that something has to give … I saw an ad for my local high school but thought nothing of it. Then a few weeks later I saw another ad for the same school and one thing led to another which is how I find myself sat here reflecting about my visit to the school today for my transition day. I am excited. I am nervous. I am a little apprehensive.

In the same way that changing career in my thirties was a very conscious decision. So have all the schools I’ve chosen to work at. None of them have been jobs that “sort of” happened. They have all been schools in need of improvement. The kids needed something, the local community needed something and they fitted my idea of the kind of school I could see myself in. I have been very fortunate in having choices to make …. having choices in life is really important and that’s what we do as teachers. We give kids the ability to make choices (right or wrong ones) and that’s how they grow as people. What we do genuinely can change lives … granted some would have choices anyway but for some we are literally expanding the opportunities for them. When you’re up to your neck in “muck and bullets” it’s often hard to see this and all we can see or feel is the “now” … the crap parts of the job like teaching a certain group that you just can’t get a handle on … but when you take a step back and realise that it will all pass it makes it easier to be objective about what action needs to be taken. (BTW I’m definitely getting a tattoo saying “this too shall pass” over the Summer!)

I have been very lucky along the way to work with some amazing people. I’m not easy to work with. I am a hard taskmaster to myself and consequently others around me get the fallout sometimes as I know I can be relentless. This is because I care. I want to do the job to the best of my ability … so to my current team it has been a privilege to work with you. I have seen many of you grow in confidence and to develop into practicioners I would be proud to work with anywhere, anytime! It has been a real team effort and to be part of the team who arrived after the school went into special measures and then be on that journey out of the category and then only to go and deliver results that mean maths is now one of the highest performing departments has been very special. We did what we set out to do. It’s been a ride and a half! Thank you for putting up with me (and if you ever see this you’ll know not to mention it EVER!)

To my new team … the first rule you’ll need to learn is that we never openly mention you having read this shiz … I am looking forward to working with you … and oh … strap yourself in we’re in for one hell of a ride!

On that note … if you’re about to change jobs … we can do this … TOGETHER!

Watch this space!

PS: I’m back. I feel like me!